It all depends how you look at it....

Two things have happened to me over the last week which has made me consider how I view certain things. The first was I read a fabulous book by Stephen M R Covey called the Speed of Trust – how trust changes everything. And the second was that I got my first ever pair of varifocals. While there is no relationship between these, together they caused a shift in my world.

I don’t know how many of you have tried varifocals – the concept of one lens merging seamlessly into another so one pair of glasses is enough to read a book, use a computer, and drive a car. Suddenly the world as I knew it changed – shimmering uneasily at the edges, curving alarmingly around me, and undulating around my ankles as I walked across the floor. It reminded me of the NLP concept of framing – nothing actually changes, but our view of it is transformed forever.

Covey’s book had a similar effect. In business things sometimes happen that challenges even the greatest optimist. I had one of those weeks, when trust was shattered. I talked to my family, my associates and my professional advisors angrily about the injustices that had been perpetrated, the lies that had been told, the insults I had met. I ranted that from now on I was going to trust no one. Basically, I got nicely at effect. I was feeling sceptical and jaded.

Ronald Reagan once said “Trust, but verify”, and I realised when I read Covey’s book that was what had been missing. In my effort to be “nice” I had trusted too easily, and unwisely. I hadn’t listened to my gut (which had, to be honest, been screaming nicely at me for months), nor had I analysed the risks adequately. Much as I didn’t want to acknowledge it, I had indeed invited an unpleasant situation into my life in order to learn from it.

Covey describes a “smart trust” matrix. I had been running my business in the blind trust quadrant, and when that trust had been violated, had bounced into the distrust quadrant, seeing it as the only possible alternative. I had flipped from gullibility to suspicion. Studying the matrix, I realised there was another option – the use of judgement. I could continue to have a high propensity to trust, and I could combine it with enough analysis to manage risk wisely. Smart trust doesn’t mean I need to be nice and trust everyone – it’s actually OK to extend no trust or limited trust if the situation warrants it. But I realised that neither was the distrust quadrant where I wanted to live – not only did it violate my business ethics, but I realised this quadrant would actually make me less successful. One of the great things about small business is it can move quickly, adapt to the market, and be responsive to customer needs. Thinking of the communication model, distrust was NOT something I wanted sitting in my filters. I could see how it would slow me down.

My MBTI type is INFP, and I understood the risks of the total lack of forgiveness that this type can show when their values have been abused, and Covey’s book made me realise that was where I was heading. What I want in MY filters is a high propensity to trust, coupled with the ability to analyse carefully, and actually listen to that screaming gut in future!

So while the jury is still out on the varifocals, if you need to develop smart trust, this book is for you!