Blister and Hurtle!

When I was a little girl, my grandfather was always telling me to"No trudging - blister and hurtle!" He had no truck with the tortoise in the Aesop's fable, and derided the thought of slow and steady. I thought it was a saying peculiar to him, as I never heard anyone else say it till I read a book by the Scottish author Isla Dewar recently, where the main character, Cora, is exhorted by her father to blister and hurtle. And of course, she hurtles her way into a variety of scrapes.

While I have generally been too sensible to hurtle into much mischief, I have hurtled at most things in my life - wanting them now, if not yesterday, impatient, working like a demon and expecting everyone else to do the same. And then 8 weeks ago I developed what has to be the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I raise money for breast cancer care, in memory of my dearest friend, who died 10 years ago, aged 38, and about 4 months ago I was training to power-walk a marathon.  It's something I've done several times before, and while I'm not the most svelte person on the block, I have a fair bit of stamina for things like that. So while hurtling round a training walk, my leg gave way as if I had been shot. Diagnosis: hamstring tear. Treatment:  rest, stretching and controlled exercises. Professional opinion: a 12 week recovery. My opinion: I'd be back training in 4 weeks. I lasted about 6 weeks doing it my way, when the pain became so intense even I couldn't ignore it. To add to the hamstring damage, I now had sciatic nerve impingement. And so started the most miserable 8 weeks. 

Trudging would have been a luxury. Since the first week in December I have hobbled around, whimpering with pain, umbilically attached to an ice pack, an inflatable cushion (don't ask) and a tens machine. I eye the clock to ensure I take analgesia the minute the next dose is due. Getting settled at night takes about 8 pillows strategically supporting everything that hurts. My physio is my new best friend. This week is the first time I've started to venture out of the house by myself, and am pathetically pleased and proud that most days I have managed a two mile walk, with a break at the half way point. Painful but bearable. 

So yesterday I had a supervision session. (Something that is often only marginally less challenging than a marathon!). And he asked me what I needed to learn from this experience. And I realised that there have been benefits - I've been more present at home than I have been for a while. I've made contact with people. I've just sat and thought. I've re-boosted my energies about the company, and what I want for myself and my students and clients. And while I do long to hurtle again, maybe what I need to learn is a also that sometimes we go fastest, by going slower.