Wearing your pulling pants...

All my life, I’ve heard the adage “it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile”, but the relative numbers seem to vary with each telling.  The first time I heard it the school dentist was attaching the hated braces to my teeth, and trying to make me feel better about them. As if! Snopes tells me that the jury is actually out on the veracity of the statement. Whatever the truth is about  our physogimy, most people would prefer the emotions associated with smiling than frowning.

And yet sometimes it’s really hard to get there, as we strive to fulfil multiple roles, many pulling us in different directions. Our boss wants that paper tonight, but we promised the kids we’d make a cake with them. Our partner wants a romantic early night, but we would really rather sleep so we can have some semblance of coping the next day. We haven’t called our parents for ages, but we crave some me time.

The end result of all of this is feeling  flat, depressed, anxious and stressed. NLP puts a lot of emphasis on the need for what is called “state management”. But how do you actually DO it?

First, make some time for yourself. This is YOUR life, and none of us know how long or short it will be. And if we spend all our resources on looking after other people, what happens when we get too burned out to go on? Remember the goose and the golden egg: it’s not selfish to look after the goose – otherwise, to take the metaphor to its conclusion, it’s one nice roast dinner, and then short rations. Even if all you can manage initially is a few 5 minute slots a day, take them, and do the breathing exercise a couple of posts below.

Define your priorities: what really matters to you? The dust doesn’t get much worse after the first couple of weeks, I've discovered! What are the stories you want to tell your great grandchildren about your life: “ I kept a clean house” “ I worked late at the office every night” Really?

What are a couple of things you can do that would enjoy, and would be good for you? Upping your fruit and vegetable intake, getting some fresh air every day can all make you feel better. Even if no one else is doing it, give yourself some positive strokes. Notice your achievements, big and small. When my daughter was a baby, some days my achievement was that I’d showered and cleaned my teeth! Be kind to yourself. If it helps, keep a journal.

Try new things – say yes to opportunities.

And at least sometimes, wear your fancy knickers – you don’t need to keep things for “best” you ARE the best - treat yourself  well.

For more information about training in NLP, hypnotherapy, coaching or self-hypnosis, please do visit NLP and Coaching Scotland.